(photo credits: loveforweddings)
You’ve found your true love. But a relationship is more than that. Staying together requires more than just love and passion, it requires acceptance, understanding and balance. So here are some tips!
1. Be happy with yourself.
Don’t solely rely on your lover to make you happy, as it makes the relationship more tedious to maintain. Always remember that it starts with you making your own efforts to make yourself happy. Only when you’re happy will you enrich the relationship with your smiles, laughter and jokes. Then it becomes way easier for the other person to make you happier. Happiness is a drug and it passes on, if both people in a relationship how to make themselves happy, coming together only serves to enrich the shared happiness and joy.
2. Trust and communication
These two elements in a relationship are self-reinforcing. With trust, comes easier communication because you trust that your partner will be more understanding and accepting of the news that you bring, whether good or bad. Open communication builds trust- humans are inquisitive by nature, and being more transparent helps avoid any misunderstandings from arising. When conflicts do arise, learn to deal with it in trust that your partner does not intentionally set out to hurt you with his words. Learn to not let anger take over the communication process, and trust that all problems can be overcome. It also helps you to keep calm.
3. Keep things exciting
I love this. Do fun things, try new sports, learn new skills. That’s the best part of being with someone, you have a companion to enjoy life’s best (and worst) parts together. Reserve a weekly/monthly date where you both drop everything else in life to truly enjoy each other’s company. Walk down memory lane, find new hideouts and eat all the food you can in the world.
4. Hang out with friends and family
Don’t narrow and enclose your relationship. Open up, spend time with family or groups of friends. Go for gatherings together, celebrate festive seasons with your other loved ones. This keeps things healthy and lively.
5. Respect each other’s needs & privacy
Know that everyone needs a little personal space once in a while. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing your identity or your personal time. Also, if your partner wishes to indulge in buying something that he needs, go ahead and let him do it.
6. Forgive and Forget
Even the best relationships are not always smooth-sailing. There’ll be dark clouds, conflicts and quarrels are bound to happen. But the best part of an argument is making up, moving past it, and learning more about each other. Remember to leave those burdens behind.
7. Focus on external, not intrinsic factors
Because your lover is not you, there’ll be times you can’t stand him. Let’s face it, even if he was you, you’ll also have times when you can’t stand yourself haha. But what’s key here is to learn to attribute problems to the fault of the environment, circumstances or the situation. Don’t immediately blame your partner’s character or personality for it.
8. Focus on the present, don’t make comparisons
Throw all the ‘What ifs’ out of your head. ‘What ifs’ are evil and they only serve to make you see what you don’t have. As difficult as this might sound, control your brain and don’t let it start comparing how your relationship was “better off” in the past, or how it might be better if you were with someone else. There’s a reason why you chose this path. If those reasons were good enough, stick with it instead of exploring other options with your mind. The grass will always seem greener on the other side- but that’s probably cause you’re not there.
9. Stay positive, love and grow together.
Always keep in mind that bad things will happen in life, the only difference is how you perceive it.
10. Commitment means “no matter what”.
Be self-sacrifical. The relationship comes first. Once you have made the decision to stay “no matter what”, there is no question of stay or go, yes or no. If both of you can think that way, love can indeed transcend boundaries.
Perfection doesn’t come easy. But it’s yours for the making.